Brooklinen Linen Sheets Review
Before you think this was a paid review by Brooklinen…I’m gonna stop you. They did not pay me to say any of these things, however, maybe they should?! Brooklinen, you know where to find me 😉
I’d like to start out with an emoji association exercise. Emojis that come to mind when I think of my Brooklinen sheets are the following: 🤩🤤😴😴😴
If you’re like me, you can get bouts of nighttime anxiety. Sometimes when I’m having trouble getting back to sleep I’ll change my sleeping scenery by moving to my couch. My Brooklinen sheets make me question—do I really need to? These sheets are dare I say...life altering? All my friends and family know about my French flax linen sheets because it’s approximately 80% of what I talk about (the other 20% is about food & the weather). If I had a penny for every time I named dropped the complimentary linen tote with sheets purchase I’d have enough pennies to buy stake in the company, okayyy? 👀
So what makes these sheets so gosh darn irresistible?
Let’s start with the fact that the more often you wash them, the softer they get! Side note: they produce soo much lint in the dryer it will have you debating whether or not you should get into lint felting and make a lint alpaca. Brooklinen actually recommends washing them as often as you can for maximum softness. Somehow they are so light and breezy while also having a nice heavy weighted feeling like the hug you’ve been yearning for since you were a child.
These sheets are incredibly moisture-wicking, making them perfect for those hot humid summer nights. I’d compare the texture of the fabric to being in an adult swaddle. Picture this — you’re exhausted and too lazy to wash your hair, so you go to sleep cocooned in these sheets, in the wee hours of the night hair fairies come and brush every strand of your hair so that the next morning you emerge as a butterfly goddess. Circle of trust here — that’s pretty dope!
If I haven’t sold you by now (again I am not making commish off this), I imagine these sheets save relationships. This is the before and after dialogue I imagine going on between the sheetz.
Before:
“It’s literally so hot, don’t touch me. 😒”
*After:
“Aw, babe, you are so cute when you sleep, let’s snuggle!”
*Speculative, considering I am not in a relationship to test this out.
SO, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?
I’m sure by now you’re wondering, how much are these linen sheets gonna set me back? Well…sisters, brothers, and non-binary siblings approximately 42 coffees at $5 per coffee. That is a very sweet way of saying about $211 (at the time of writing Sept. 2021) for the linen core set which includes
a fitted sheet
a flat sheet
two pillowcases
If you’re like me, right now you’re thinking to yourself what are they putting in these sheets, THE TEARS OF JESUS?!?!? Who's got that kind of dough lying around for sheets?! (and if you do, hmu 😉)
I’m not going to try and play you, yeah, these linen sheets are expensive af, but they are also properly sourced and totally worth it. Don’t just take my word for it, all *three of my dog-nieces love them too (*updated 2023 to include newest edition, Roxanne). But as I said earlier, these linen sheets are a lifestyle. So you have to ask yourself, do you want to wake up every morning feeling like you're on vacation? Cause these sheets are the ultimate staycation my pals! Pro-tip: if you get the white ones you’ll feel like you’re waking up in heaven each morning. Although I can imagine that’s not fun for the elderly…? Listen, if I haven’t sold you on these sheets yet, why are you even here wasting your time? (you could be doom-scrolling on instagram instead 👀)
Can I be frank? I feel like we know each other pretty well at this point, right?
My largest pro tip of all, wait for a sale! If you have your eyes on a sweet set of sheets, just wait it out. Brooklinen is always having 10 or 15 percent-off sales, and getting that 10% off means four extra coffees for you. Plus, if a friend refers you, then you both get discounts! (& don’t forget you just agreed we know each other pretty well by now friend <- real referral link 😇)
Thanks for the read, and if you have any questions or (nice) commentary I’d be happy to hear it! 😊😊
